There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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