R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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