I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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