I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
