if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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