There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
