I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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