do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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