I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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