what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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