Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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