handjob tips. give me some.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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