Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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