girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
