I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
