Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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