Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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