Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
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I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
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He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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