Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
