so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
