I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize