Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
do herpes really smell.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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