I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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