bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
