I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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