There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
