Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
