i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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