You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
