Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
