between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
