it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
How external is "for external use only"?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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