WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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