I think my vagina is haunted
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
