even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
