I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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