We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
