Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
