no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
