Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize