i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize