Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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