I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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