All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
