ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Even my vagina gasped.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
