He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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