He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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