Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
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so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
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We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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