foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize