Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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