id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
