I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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