Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
