kristin has been a bad kristin
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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