I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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