thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
