She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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