I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize