Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
