So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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